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(Frights! Camera! Action!) TALES FROM THE CRYPT Season 5 May Be the Series' Most Fun Season Yet

By. Davalyn Baker

Season 5 of TALES FROM THE CRYPT comes in with better production, better props, and better tales. It’s also somehow become even more gory and raunchy, but the 90s were an ever-evolving time for horror, so that was to be expected. A step up from season 4, the audience is given some great episodes this season. Kyle McLachlan directs an amazing episode about an insecure husband (Hector Elizondo), who suspects his wife is cheating despite being told by multiple private detectives tracking her activity that he’s wrong. Plot twist, he’s wrong!

Though the series is nearing its end, with two more remaining, season five shows the dedication and care placed into production. The season’s first introduction features the Crypt Keeper in a work blazer with his hair pulled back into a carefully brushed ponytail, serving as a salesman for the Home Shopping Network, cleverly titled Home Chopping Network. He’s become so much more interactive than his first appearances in the first seasons, once again proving that even if the story he’s sharing with the audience may not be entertaining, it's always assured that he will be.

As a kid, I can distinctly remember my grandparents and mom laughing at him. It was 1993, though, and I was still scared of him. One would think after being terrorized by Jeff Goldblum in Cronenberg’s The Fly, Brad Dourif’s terrifying portrayal of demon-possessed killer doll Chucky, and whatever the hell was happening in Re-Animator, I’d be able to handle something so silly as the Crypt Keeper. All those things made up the list of Things that Scared Me, and for about half of my childhood, and Crypt Keeper’s cackle was there, too.

Before diving into Season 5, check out our look at TALES FROM THE CRYPT Season 4, where the series found its footing with bigger guest stars, stronger production values, and some of the anthology's most memorable episodes.

Getting into season 5, there were some great episodes here. I had the pleasure of watching this season with my eldest niece, and we picked out our favorites together.

Food for Thought – Ernie Hudson, my favorite original Ghostbuster, stars as The Great Zambini, a carnival performer covered in clown make-up that possesses psychic powers. He doubles as a cook, who spends his evenings in gluttonous-fueled chaos, assaulting his wife and assistant, Connie, played by Joan Chen. There’s a trigger warning for coercion here that goes on for an uncomfortably long amount of time. Connie is secretly in love with Johnny, a flame-eater. Things go up in smoke when Zambini, a psychic, discovers Connie and Johnny’s love affair. The two make a pact to run away together, but their plans get thwarted when Zambini murders Johnny by setting him on fire. Johnny formed a bond with a gorilla named Nabunga, who is extremely distraught after witnessing his murder. Though Zambini denies his part in Johnny’s demise when confronted by Connie, she knows he’s lying and finally gets the courage to leave on her own. Zambini doesn’t take this well, getting drunk and calling out to Connie through a psychic connection, begging her to return. Connie responds, telling him she is coming back to him. Though of course, when she returns, it isn’t Connie and Zambini gets his just desserts in the end. I both hated and loved this episode as a kid, mainly because I was so excited to see Ernie Hudson in an honestly stellar performance as the antagonist. I also hated seeing him mistreat a woman. I had no idea how far his mistreatment went but watching as an adult woman, the scene left a sour taste in my mouth. Mission accomplished.

Came the Dawn – Before the episode begins, the Crypt Keeper appears in a delightful skit dressed as a flight attendant. The introduction alone makes this a great episode. This story starts where a man and a woman are on a date, the man’s face never being seen. The woman excuses herself and is later seen in the bathroom faking various versions of an orgasm. As this continues, a woman comes into the bathroom and hacks the woman to pieces. There’s a cut to Roger driving to a cabin, begging forgiveness to his scorned lover. As he’s driving, he comes across a beautiful hitchhiker named Norma, played by Brooke Shields, who seems to be on the run. Roger makes a short stop at a convenience store, learning about a serial killer on the loose. While he’s in the store, Norma pilfers through his car, stealing. She also briefly encounters Roger’s lover, dismissing her. She and Roger arrive at his cabin, where Roger eventually charms Norma. She gets dolled up; they have a nice dinner and eventually take the rest of their evening upstairs into the bedroom. BUT – Roger’s lover arrives, threatening him and Norma. Frustrated at the fact that all men are cheaters, Norma decides to leave after being told by Roger she needs to hide. In a clear nod to Psycho, Norma discovers Roger’s lover and learns there was never an escape plan. This is such a great episode, because the build-up to the final scenes is done with enough tension that does not feel like the pace is slow or even frustrating. Brooke Shields does a wonderful job as the red herring here, showing that though she was on a road of criminal activity, she was very much in over her head. It’s always a delight seeing an actor like Brooke jump into a role as such.

Two for the Show – Noted, by niece, as the best episode of the season, this story is an homage to Hitchcock’s Strangers on the Train. Andy, an inattentive and mostly insensitive husband, played by David Paymer, learns from his wife Emma, played by Traci Lords (a legend) that she’s leaving him for another person. Naturally angry, Andy and Emma get into an argument, with Andy demanding Emma stay in the marriage to save him from embarrassment. And, naturally, that is not a convincing enough argument to keep Emma around. Andy kills her in a rage, and it’s soon reported to a police officer named Officer Fine, portrayed by Vincent Spano, who is also having marital troubles. Officer Spano makes the house call to investigate with no success. After Andy dismembers Emma’s body and stuffs it into a trunk, he crosses paths with Officer Fine, who informs him that he’s boarding the same train because they are trying to catch a drug deal. That’s obviously a lie that doesn’t need to be stated aloud to the audience but watching Andy and Officer Fine’s tête-à-tête is the best part of the story, because of the actors' great chemistry with each other. And it must be said that Andy is as terrible a criminal as he is a husband.

Death of Some Salesmen – Arguably, one of the greatest episodes not just of the season but the entire series run for TALES FROM THE CRYPT, Ed Begley Jr. stars as Judd Campbell, a scamming sleazeball of a salesman that spends his career cheating the unsuspecting elderly out of their funds with a burial plot scam. He meets his match in the salesmen-hating Brackett family, played by horror icon Tim Curry in triple roles as Pa, Ma, and daughter Winona. This episode is one of the wildest episodes of TALES FROM THE CRYPT and fans of the show will NOT be disappointed. It gives reminders of Season 1’s And All Through the House, which was off the rails from the first minute in. Tim Curry kills it in every scene he’s in and is particularly frightening as sullen and miserable Winona. This is a quintessential episode with a lesson in acting and how to truly embrace the art of camp all in one. Fun fact! The showrunners approached Eddie Murphy to star in the role of Pa, Ma, and Winona Brackett but he declined. Tim Curry received an Emmy nomination for this role.

People Who Live in Brass Hearses – This is easily my second favorite episode of the season. Texas Legend Bill Paxton and horror king Brad Dourif star as Billy and Virgil DeLuca, two brothers who embark on a get rich quick scheme. Billy returns home after a two-year prison stint while also nursing a butter addiction. He manipulates his brother Virgil, who is mentally challenged into joining him in his scheme. During the madness, Billy tells Virgil he’s going to get revenge on the ice cream man, Mr. Byrd, played by Michael Lerner. The path of blood, and it is bloody, begins when Virgil kills their boss, but he does it before Billy is able to get into the safe. As Billy spirals, Virgil reminds him that Mr. Byrd may be sitting on a gold mine, and since Billy is on his path to revenge, what better way than a little robbery? But there’s a problem. Mr. Byrd has a small fortune stored away, but there is also a secret that doubles the horror for Billy and Virgil. Bill Paxton is so great as the maniacal Billy, stewing in his anger and munching down on raw bars of butter. Brad Dourif takes the backseat in this episode as the soft-natured and easily manipulated baby brother, Virgil. The two work great together, and it’s an amazing testament to their talent.

Honorable Mention: Oil’s Well that Ends Well - Priscilla Presley stars as Gina, a man-hating girlfriend to a con-artist named Jerry, played by Lou Diamond Phillips. The pair attempt to scam a group of gentlemen after their latest heist, which features the Crypt Keeper himself, John Kassir, as their fellow scam artist and partner. The next scam backfires, and the men think they’ve got the upper hand on Gina but learn quickly that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Although Shudder did manage to acquire all seven seasons for streaming, only six have shown up on the app. This could be still processing. Nothing has appeared online regarding why it hasn’t appeared yet. With two more weeks of TALES FROM THE CRYPT, I cannot wait to return and speak more about it. Season 5’s fun turnaround has me excited for Season 6.

Season 6 premieres on Shudder, Friday, June 5^th.

Season 5 feels like a last great hurrah for the series. While the Crypt Keeper remains as entertaining as ever, Season 6 marks the beginning of a noticeable decline. Join us as we sort through the few gems hidden among one of the anthology's weakest seasons.